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Please read further to learn about my approach to individual and couples therapy.  I am happy to answer any questions you might have about how I work.

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Individual Therapy

I view the therapeutic relationship as one in which we have a chance to build a healthy and transparent alliance, so that we are working together toward a general goal – whether it be to increase your mindfulness of your emotions and thoughts, gain more confidence, or heal through unresolved pain or trauma. It is critical that you determine the direction in which we move in therapy, so, based on your needs, our specific goals may change as our relationship and my understanding of your history and experience evolve over time. I will support your existing strengths and intuition because you are the expert of your own experiences. When warranted, however, I may provide alternative methods of perceiving a situation, suggestions for coping strategies, and authentic feedback based on my perceptions and experiences. It is common for me to ask you questions and provide you feedback about how you impact me in our relationship, which might challenge you to examine unexplored emotions and relational dynamics. 

These questions and feedback are meant to facilitate deeper reflection and a movement toward self-understanding and a reconnection to your core self and others in your life. I believe that if we, in our therapeutic relationship experience discomfort at times, we move towards a growth-fostering connection that is incredibly healing.

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Couples Therapy

Intimate partner relationships are vulnerable to share with a third party. I am humbled to be invited into your partnership as a trusted ally to enhance intimacy and zest in your relationship, as well as to help heal the wounded places where broken trust, loss and ruptures may have occurred between you. My approach to working with partners in couples therapy is strongly informed by attachment and family system frameworks as well as emotionally-focused and experiential approaches. What does this mean exactly? It means that I actively participate in conversations by gently but firmly interrupting patterns between partners as they arise in our sessions. I consider myself a process facilitator and I focus on slowing down your interactions so we might consider what is happening between you (e.g., the interactions/behaviors) and what is happening within you (e.g., bodily sensations, feelings, beliefs about yourself/partner).

For these reasons, I am an active agent in identifying interactions and behaviors that may impede you from most effectively having your most important needs met in your relationship. I will challenge each partner to explore what their inner experiences are, and make the implicit, explicit.  By doing so, new realms of possibility arise because we are creating a renewed experience together which each partner can embody and take with them into their day-to-day lives.

A Note About the Process

Both individual and couples therapy are processes that may evoke strong emotions that initially may make you feel more uncomfortable, angry, or sad than before you started therapy. This is completely normal and to be expected. Most clients will feel uncomfortable perhaps throughout the therapeutic process because I see our evolving relationship as a healing opportunity to explore dynamics that arise between us that might stem from patterns or strategies of disconnection in other relationships. 

I hope that individuals and couples share experiences with me as they arise, whether it be exciting, uncomfortable, or negative, so we can explore them together and better understand the meaning these reactions have for you in your movement toward relational vitality and empowerment. Many times, these reactions to therapy (and to me!) have a familiarity in the context of past relationships, which are incredibly valuable to explore.

Allison Lau-Srivastava, Ph.D.

© 2024 Allison Lau-Srivastava, Ph.D.